Squeezed

I have a squeezer in my life, this person likes to pick at my sensitivities, loves to point out my imperfections, enjoys squeezing me in areas that when I’m squeezed the yuckiest shi* comes out.

Ive read that what comes out is what’s inside. I have some seriously ugly stuff inside.

I could make this blog about the “one” who squeezes me, but the truth is that I am the one with the stuff inside. I am the one who has areas that need attention, I have healing to do.

And so I walk through my reality!

My squeezer reminds me of past failures, letting me know that they feel I am still majorly “flawed”.

These feelings that this person shares can hurt deeply, especially when I have taken great pains to better myself and believe that I am not this person they are saying I am.

Why does it hurt to have this person say these things to me?

Because I am an imperfect human and I wish for understanding and acceptance.

Have I made mistakes? Yes, absolutely.

Have I been willing to face my mistakes?

Yes.

Do I feel shame regarding my past?

I have felt shame, I’ve forgiven myself, there is no more self shame.

Does it still hurt when someone reminds me of the past?

Yes, to remember sometimes hurts.

What can I do with the hurt, so I don’t react.

Feel it, act in ways I admire, and remember the word grace.

What if this person continues to squeeze me?

Remind myself I can’t change or control their behavior and trust The Author of my story.

I can began to see the squeezer as a good. I can walk myself through the “inside stuff”. I can switch my mental frame, rather than run away from the ones who squeeze, I can embrace the pressure and work on my inside stuff.

What comes out is what’s inside, may GOOD stuff eventually be what comes out.